Summer Is Here, Time To Rejuvenate

17/07/2010 — rosannagordon

A New Life

I’ve been away from blogging for a while, due to busy last stages of my PGCE teacher training – which I’m proud to say I’ve finished! I can breathe a huge sigh of relief. A totally amazing year, full of learnings and great achievement.

Two weeks have gone by since the course ended and life really has moved fast. I’ve moved fast. I’m now living in Cambridge, settling into a new flat and city, looking for work as supply teacher and putting foundations in place for my yoga business. As a newcomer, I can be as much a part of the side alleys or the centre streets as I like, because nobody knows me. Well, apart from my brother and sister, who I’m so happy to live close to.

Overwhelm to Strength

Day One here came, and I was off, running around the city, trying to get everything set up. I had so eagerly anticipated starting my new adventure that I couldn’t help myself! But by the end of the week, I was suffering from overwhelm. The reality hit me that it would take time adjusting to everything. Big changes have come all at once and a lot of shifting is going on. I’m aware though that this initial period of settling in and experiencing emotions such as fear and doubt is a part of the growing process.

In our bravery, we can make great changes in our lives. But then when it actually comes to living the change and we’re stepping out in the unknown, fear often shows up. And in our fear, we doubt our decisions that we were so excited about making! But it’s in staying put with the changes that we’ve brought about that we can tap into and feel our strength.

So this is what I’m doing, I’m hanging about. I’m staying put with my decisions to embark on this new, exciting life, allowing any emotions that arise and using the lessons that come to strengthen my character.

Coming Inside

By hitting exhaustion, I was forced to marvel at how the Universe works. No longer able to rush about ‘making things happen’, I got to sit back and allow things to unfold naturally. And whilst I believe it’s a good thing to actively go out and grab life, I can see how important it is also for us to loosen our grip over how things turn out. We can be both out there in the world having an influence and resting inside.

Rejuvenation

I don’t regret for a minute starting a new chapter. I think it was a fantastic idea. But I know too that in amongst making calls to the landlord, going along to interviews and seeking out yoga spaces, I also need to allow myself time for rejuvenation.

So, I’m asking you now to join me this Summer in rejuvenating yourself and finding a balance between your go, go, go self and your restful self. Will you join me?

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 1 Comment »

It’s Not Always Easy

03/03/2010 — rosannagordon

Every morning we wake up with a huge grin on our face. We spring out of bed, full of energy and enthusiasm for the day, and draw back the curtains, allowing the rays of sunshine to penetrate through. “Ahhh’ we let out a gentle sigh of appreciation, thinking of all the things we are so grateful for in our lives. “What a beautiful morning. I feel so alive, so happy to be here and so excited about today!” After a delicious breakfast, enjoyed with the one we love, in the peace and quiet of our budding garden, we skip off to work. From here, our day unfolds magnificently…
We feel the hearts and kindness of strangers we meet, and lap up all the meaningful conversations we exchange. We pat ourselves on the back when our boss congratulates us on all our hard work (even though we really don’t feel like it’s work at all) and beam when he says it’s a delight to have us as part of the team. Our full lunch hour is spent in tranquillity, in the nearby park. We sit back by the glistening lake, feeling the sun warm our face, listening to the sounds of the birds, and indulging in our favourite home-made sandwich. In the same fashion, our day continues to flow with ease and joy. We’re out of work by 5pm, and able to meander along to the yoga studio for an invigorating practice. To then come home to a delightful veggie dinner offered to us by our partner. No worries, no moans to be had. We’re not even the one to wash up! Bed-time comes at the perfect moment, just before 10pm. We cosy up under the covers and think “I so look forward to waking up tomorrow.”

What a wonderful world we’d live in if this were our experience, day-in, day-out. Ease, flow and peacefulness, maxed up to the brim. Nothing to worry about, nothing to fear and nothing made hard for us. An easy life, and path of happiness…

But is this really what we’re after? Does this ‘ideal’ even exist? Can things come so easily to us, and leave us so content and fulfilled? I’m not so sure they can. And I don’t believe this is really what we’re after.

Bring down a glorious image of what life can be is not what I want to do. I think that our lives are out there for the taking, the making, and the creating. They can be filled with beautiful moments, shared with outstanding people and lived truly to the full of our hearts desire. But, at the same time, and from my experience, we need to see all the colours of the rainbow. And the truth is: It’s Not Always Easy.

During the last few weeks on my school placement, I experienced a challenging time, a ‘tough period’. I certainly wasn’t waking up to sunshine beaming in at me every day, or feeling energised or like I had moments to spare for meandering through parks. No, quite the opposite. In fact on some days, I barely spent any time out in nature. I was too busy waking at the crack of dawn (at 4am on several occasions) to do my planning, feeling waves of anxiety about the days ahead and whether my lessons would be any good. I was feeling very tired during the day, trying to find my feet and make the most of the experience. My yoga and running schedule deteriorated, and pretty much went out of the window on the last week. I found myself opting for moments of relaxation and sleep, instead of exercise. I tried to establish a good work/life balance, I tried to make time for things I know are important for my well-being, I tried to do the best job I could on my school placement and I desperately tried to get myself back on ‘top form.’

And it was during all this ‘trying’, that I learnt a very important message: to ‘let go’, and just flow with my experience. I learnt to slow down, take things gently and not worry about having to be ‘on top’ all the time. “It’s alright to experience things differently, to come across bumps in the road, and to spend time in the valley, rather than at the peak of the mountain.” I listened to these words I heard from within me. I listened to the cues and prompts from my body, like when it said “lay off a run today and take some time to lie low and rest”, “go out and enjoy today, with no worries of it being the ‘best day’”, and a third one, which I think is really important: “life is not always easy, and that’s OK.”

We can learn from every experience, every ‘bad day’ and every difficult moment.

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , . 7 Comments »

Don’t Look Back

18/12/2009 — rosannagordon

Here we are, on the brink of a New Year. A whole new chapter in our lives lying bare out in front of us, just waiting for us to make our mark. And hell, are we excited?

“Erm, well no, not exactly”, we whisper. “More nervous, a little afraid and quite unprepared.” The very thought of another new year makes us want to run for covers and hold on tightly to the comfort of the year as we know it. If only this were possible. If only we could stay in 2009. But, seeing as it’s not possible, we’re just going to have to find a way of sneaking through the threshold unseen, in a very hush hush way. No mess, no hype and certainly no bells.

Quite often, the prospect of a new year can scare us. We may look back at our entrances into previous January’s and feel uninspired. Perhaps we hit the winter blues, instead of hitting the ground running. Or fell into overwhelm due to the pressures we placed on ourselves. Or maybe we made unrealistic goals we could only fall by the wayside of.

But, as dissappointed as we may feel by the New Year’s of our pasts, we must not allow these experiences to tumble forwards into our futures. This New Year 2010 can be an entirely new experience, if we so desire. One filled with exciting events, discoveries and challenges to sink our teeth into. All it depends on is what perspective we decide to bring to the table.

A few Christmases ago, I can remember lying under the covers for the most part of the holidays, wrapped up in self-pity. It was during my first year at university, and I was in a state of recovery. The term’s events had all proved to be too much for me; a lot of drinking, late nights and emotions running haywire. I was all ready to be swept along into New Year with the tide. But, thankfully, I was offered a new perspective. “Rosanna, your story is boring me.” And like a dagger I felt it. Such harsh words, so out there, but so true! I thank who said this to me. And honestly, I was boring myself. My winter creation had run its course and it was time to change the story.

What I had wanted to do was go over and over how blimming awful I was feeling, and justify my hibernation from the world. But what was offered to me was so much better. I was told to give up the past and my attempts to reason my way free, and to try something else on right away. On instruction, I reluctantly peeled myself out from under my duvet and took on various different physical stances. Each, to my surprise, offering an entirely new perspective. Depending on how I held myself, and how I projected my voice, I felt very differently. The vulnerable mouse was gone and here was something much stronger and more optimisitic.

Did I free myself entirely on this day? No. But what I did gain was something very influential on my thinking. I learnt that we need first to change our physical posture for our perspective to alter and for our thinking then and only then, to move forwards.

So, next time you start to shy away at the sight of New Year’s on your calendar, make a decision to choose differently. Move to another part of the room, and try on a new physical stance. Give yourself time to experiment with a variety, anything you like. Make a note of how your perspective changes. And when you find one that makes you come alive (I guarantee you will), take this perspective forwards into 2010.

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . 5 Comments »
« Older posts
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.