Who Do We Think We Are?

TR

We’re walking down the road of our life when suddenly we hit a junction and freeze “who do we think we are?” are the words crying out from inside of us.

From the surface, things may look ordinary to anyone who sees us – we are the same old person we always were, right? The same we were yesterday, five, even ten years back and the same we’ll be tomorrow. All fine and dandy. Well, no, not necessarily.

We can carry on walking the same path, replicating the same existence day in, day out and carrying around with us the same belief system and state of health OR we can start to be receptive to the cries yelling out from within us, pleading and longing to be heard. I urge you to listen intently, right now.

Our identities that we’ve created, mastered and set in stone, that we’ve handed out to and convinced our loved ones, strangers and even ourselves of, may very well be masking who we truly are. And we’re going to have to chip away at this protection layer if we want to discover our inner gems.

I woke up to health a few years back. By letting my inner voice be heard, accepted and not resisted to any longer, I was able to end the conflict between my lifestyle as it was at the time – centering around fleeting highs, low lows alcohol, feelings of weakness, helplessness and a lack of direction – and my inner yearning for a more meaningful life. When I really listened to what my heart, my inner guidance was telling me, I knew instinctively I had to make some changes.

Did it rock my identity? Sure. Was it easy? Far from it. But you know what, once I got over the fear, the frustration and uncertainty of not knowing who I was or where I was going, I was then able to start a very special journey and align with my true self.

I spent a while wandering around in ‘no man’s land’. Sick of the old me, unclear of the new. I noticed my friendship circle changing, my sense of security loosening and my sensitivity to life heightening. What was I supposed to be doing? What was my life’s purpose? How could I break free from the old me? With time I could see that this was a necessary step and part of my journey which led me to the answers I longed for.

We need time, quiet space to reflect on what’s important in life to us. Who we think we are. It became clear to me I didn’t want to be carried along by the world, that I wanted to have dreams that I could realise. I wanted to help people feel happier and healthier than they had before. Wake up to health and my vision to own a Retreat House came into existence whilst I was searching for answers – and has stayed my guiding force, my motivation.

It can be frightening to leave our identity behind in setting sail to create a new one. There are risks we take as we leave one version of ourselves behind and put our feet into unknown waters – not knowing where the tide will bring us to. But the thing is, unless we try, we’ll never know. If we cling to our lives, our identities as we know them, we may never experience the greatness we can become.

We need to challenge our identity. Look ourselves in the mirror and ask ‘who do we think we are?’ In presenting the question, we can begin the search to fulfilling our dreams.

Freedom through Discipline

A path to freedom is through self-discipline.

Quite often discipline is viewed in a negative light, as something which limits you, is too severe, too controlling or mundane. But this view shadows the importance and true beauty that such an art form has to offer. Through certain discipline we can actually free ourselves and draw a forcefield around us protecting our healthy selves.

Freedom is something that we are all searching for, whether it is on the forefront of our consciousness or a little deeper within. We love what freedom makes possible – the ability to do, act and say what we like, live the life we so desire, express our authentic selves with ease and spread our wings wide! Yet, so many of us are creating distance between ourselves and freedom by not paying enough attention to our everyday choices. By acting on impulsive decisions and for short-term pleasure we make freedom harder to reach. In reality we are yearning for a guiding light to show us the way home to our healthy nature – and we can shine the torch today by choosing discipline.

The wonderful thing is, any day you so choose, you can learn discipline and make your way to freedom! You can help prevent feelings of tiredness, heaviness, unworthiness or even illness. You can attract positivity and create new life-changing habits and rediscover what it feels like to be free! You can relearn the beauty of life! – All it takes is a little discipline and an open heart.

For me, discipline is my ally, accompanying me through life, helping me to remain happy and healthy. I non-restrictively follow certain patterns of behaviour that help me to live and develop myself in the best way I know how. And I can honestly say I love it! Thanks to my self-imposed discipline I feel light, full of energy and peaceful. I am more active, alert, clear-headed and full of life! I have a good vision of where I am headed. I truly enjoy having discipline in my life and all the benefits it provides me with.

My Daily Discipline:

I get up at 6am and practice half an hour of Sun Salutations followed by some gentle stretches and breathing techniques. Providing me with a fit, light, supple, healthy body; a calm and focused mind and bounds of energy for the day!

At 6.30am I brush my teeth and shower, finishing off with cold water to feel fully awake and refreshed! I then make myself comfortable, prop myself upright on my yoga block with a soft blanket around me for a 20 minute meditation. Bringing me more peace and quiet for my day.

Between 7.20am and 8am I enjoy the morning time – being my favourite time of day! I nourish myself with a healthy breakfast of cold cereal and fruit (now that it’s warmer weather) and I relax listening to the sounds of nature in my garden.

I leave for school at 8am. I work full-time as a Teaching Assistant in a Primary School.

Lunch is at noon and is a salad sandwich with an apple, banana or yogurt and water. I like to eat light and healthily so not to feel sluggish in my afternoon activities.

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I get home at 3.45pm and unwind usually sitting on my bed with a glass of water or milk. I take 15 minutes of ‘free time’, checking emails, chatting to friends and family, checking post or just relaxing. This time allows me to check in with myself and how I’m feeling.

My yoga self practice is at 4pm. I practice my own routines for an hour, often finishing with a meditation. Leaving me feeling re-energised, awake, peaceful and ready for the early evening!

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I eat dinner at 6pm, or as near to, depending on the layout of my day. I like to have an early dinner to nourish myself well after yoga and leave room for digestion before bed. I usually have a grain with vegetables, and perhaps a little dairy or fish.

Around 7 or 8pm I walk my dog or cycle outdoors enjoying the fresh air and sounds around me. This also helps my dinner to digest well.

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The evening is my preferred time to read inspiring books, listen to music, create cards and presents, lie on my bed and chill out.

Between 9pm and 9.30pm I wash and prepare myself for bed. I think through my day, sometimes writing things down in my diary. I assess what things worked well and what changes I can create. I set goals and intentions for the next day, week, and months to come.

Lights out and sleeping time is 10pm. I like to get my full 8 hours sleep to feel well rested the next day, on top form and to make it as productive as I can!

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My routine is simplistic but very effective for me. I make sure that I am not too rigid or serious with it, and allow for additions or alterations and the needs of my friends and family. Sunday is my day away from a schedule, although I naturally want to do a lot of these things! I also make holiday time with friends and family. For me, the key things are being happy and healthy. I eat well, exercise, live positively and most importantly remember to smell the roses.

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You can establish discipline any time you like. Start slowly, little by little by daily integrating more behaviour into your days. Try things out, drop things that don’t work for you and let freedom shine brightly.

The Calmest Possible Option

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Recently I’ve learnt a new technique that I’m wholeheartedly applying to my life. I feel so happy and grateful for this and welcome it with open arms! Thanks to this discovery, I am currently processing great change in myself and my surroundings. I feel a positive shift within me, a sense of spaciousness forming, new energy being released and peacefulness arising. This is definitely a direction I want to go in!

My new and embraced technique I call ‘the Calmest Possible Option’. Simply because that is what it is. No matter what the situation is, how I am feeling, my environment or any of its involvement, I choose the Calmest Possible Option available to me. In exploring this technique I am already noticing that there is an abundance of options available to me and my once closed vision is widening.

In using an example of anger, if I feel angry in the presence of someone, perhaps it is something they say, instead of reacting immediately, impulsively, which was my default response and often led me somewhere lacking resolution or joy and to a great deal of counterbalancing actions, I now have a handy tool up my sleeve. This tool being a conscious and active choice of calmness. I choose peace. I throw in the towel of emotional bursts, flashes of rage, vicious words and backlash and I choose peace.

So there I am feeling angry, my body trembling, a rush of fury inside my belly and I take time to still myself. I detach myself, remove myself away from what is happening and I come to my breath. This may involve me physically taking myself out of the room or place that I am in, or by staying put but altering my focus, either way drawing in on my breath, a powerful force. I count around five deep breaths consciously slowing it down to a steady pace. This process allows me to immediately feel more calm and steady. It also gives me time and space to feel a gentle change taking place within me. I then in that moment recognise that I am in control of my actions, my choices, my words and I am able to choose my next step. A step that will soon become my past.

I can’t fully comprehend where this new awakening came from, but I can say that the timing is perfect. I had been feeling somewhat out of balance, uncertain and fearful of things around me, as though I had no say in the unfolding of my life. Such feelings are now being pushed out of me, as calmness sets in. I am experiencing feelings of freedom and strength as I choose how my behaviour and actions progress.

It is not an easy method to set in motion. Although it involves peace, quietness and time for reflection, it can be very difficult to detach yourself from a situation, a scene in the making and choose differently. It can be difficult to alter your reactions, your responses, the default mode you have set it place. And it can be difficult to let go of justification for emotional outbursts and cries of pain. But it is without a doubt an incredible tool to uncover, to recognise and to embrace.

I have been enjoying the recent process of putting the Calmest Possible Option into play. Just today I actually noted the exact moment I caught myself in an oncoming angry bolt. I felt my fierce emotions, the fire within my belly and something told me to step away, and so I did. In that moment where in the past I would feel uncontrollable, throwing judgments and losing my energy to a point of exhaustion, I chose otherwise, I told a different story. I choose peace. I thereby kept my energy reserves, put a new story into action and did something I didn’t previously know I had control of.

The Calmest Possible Option is not only something that you can apply in angry situations. You can choose to step away from moments of any kinds, such as sadness, over excitement, fear, worry, greed or even happiness. And you can decide to take a different step on your journey and create new behaviour patterns.

Sometimes we think that we just have to act in certain ways, that there is a justification for all that we do, and we’ll go on justifying this until we’re sick and tired of it. But this is not the case! We do not have to act in any such ways, we can choose what we do next.

It is an incredible vision if we think about what we would be saving in our lives if we just took time to think in the present moments we are in. We can save energy and time and friendship if we notice our current stories that we are playing in our lives. We often become so absorbed in what we are doing that we forget that we have choice, that we are choosing every way in which we move. We get ourselves in such states when we could in fact avoid them and have more peaceful times. We can change the dynamic of our relationships, our thoughts and create such healthy minds.

Are you choosing the Calmest Possible Option in the things that you do or say? Or are you setting things is motion for a Storm?

Choose peace. Choose calm without a storm.

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