Sink or Swim

08/11/2009 — rosannagordon

sink or swim

So, I’m living back in halls, as a student again. I’ve dived head first into a world entirely new and unfamiliar and you know I couldn’t be happier.

From the day I moved in some eight weeks ago, my life has been drumming to a new beat – a faster, more exciting, less predictable one. With little time to adapt, I seemed to just appear in a distinctly different arena: new city, surroundings, bedroom, friends, course, lifestyle, routines… I said goodbye to the country bumpkin me that was becoming and hello to the new life, noticing that not a single bit of continuity was supporting me. It was clear that it was down to me – was I going to sink or swim?

For the first few days, I bobbed along on the surface, minding my way and seeing what cropped up. I was settling into my new living arrangement, spending long days at university, forming quick and sturdy friendships, laughing a lot, whilst all the time trying to make sense of the latest me.

I observed various aspects of myself emerge, from what I now know as a deep hibernation; all sorts of language, behaviour and means of self-expression. Suddenly, I was no longer hiding myself behind an overly positive curtain, choosing which emotions were good and holding in the so-called bad. Now I was dipping in to a whole palette of emotions, including anger, frustration, indifference and sadness.

On week two, I sunk. Crying wholeheartedly down the phone to my family, I realised how lost I felt. The rollercoaster I was holding so tightly onto was all too much for me. I wanted off the ride, immediately. I longed for the continuity back in my life, the peace and quiet. I put my sense of bewilderment down to bad decision making: did I really want to train as a primary school teacher? Had I stepped onto a path that I didn’t want to go down?

I soon realised that what I thought was me acting out of my nature, was actually the very opposite. I was being more true to myself than I had for a while – I was letting myself shine through, uncensored. “It’s ok to be me, to be whole and feel the way I do”, I cried.

What a relief I felt at that moment, when I let myself off the hook for being myself, in understanding that things don’t need to be so rosy. I took down the curtain that day and have been swimming head above the water since.

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Who Do We Think We Are?

08/09/2009 — rosannagordon

TR

We’re walking down the road of our life when suddenly we hit a junction and freeze “who do we think we are?” are the words crying out from inside of us.

From the surface, things may look ordinary to anyone who sees us – we are the same old person we always were, right? The same we were yesterday, five, even ten years back and the same we’ll be tomorrow. All fine and dandy. Well, no, not necessarily.

We can carry on walking the same path, replicating the same existence day in, day out and carrying around with us the same belief system and state of health OR we can start to be receptive to the cries yelling out from within us, pleading and longing to be heard. I urge you to listen intently, right now.

Our identities that we’ve created, mastered and set in stone, that we’ve handed out to and convinced our loved ones, strangers and even ourselves of, may very well be masking who we truly are. And we’re going to have to chip away at this protection layer if we want to discover our inner gems.

I woke up to health a few years back. By letting my inner voice be heard, accepted and not resisted to any longer, I was able to end the conflict between my lifestyle as it was at the time – centering around fleeting highs, low lows alcohol, feelings of weakness, helplessness and a lack of direction – and my inner yearning for a more meaningful life. When I really listened to what my heart, my inner guidance was telling me, I knew instinctively I had to make some changes.

Did it rock my identity? Sure. Was it easy? Far from it. But you know what, once I got over the fear, the frustration and uncertainty of not knowing who I was or where I was going, I was then able to start a very special journey and align with my true self.

I spent a while wandering around in ‘no man’s land’. Sick of the old me, unclear of the new. I noticed my friendship circle changing, my sense of security loosening and my sensitivity to life heightening. What was I supposed to be doing? What was my life’s purpose? How could I break free from the old me? With time I could see that this was a necessary step and part of my journey which led me to the answers I longed for.

We need time, quiet space to reflect on what’s important in life to us. Who we think we are. It became clear to me I didn’t want to be carried along by the world, that I wanted to have dreams that I could realise. I wanted to help people feel happier and healthier than they had before. Wake up to health and my vision to own a Retreat House came into existence whilst I was searching for answers – and has stayed my guiding force, my motivation.

It can be frightening to leave our identity behind in setting sail to create a new one. There are risks we take as we leave one version of ourselves behind and put our feet into unknown waters – not knowing where the tide will bring us to. But the thing is, unless we try, we’ll never know. If we cling to our lives, our identities as we know them, we may never experience the greatness we can become.

We need to challenge our identity. Look ourselves in the mirror and ask ‘who do we think we are?’ In presenting the question, we can begin the search to fulfilling our dreams.

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Good Habits

31/08/2009 — rosannagordon

SDC12807

Good Habits make a Good Life!

When your habits are good, you feel better, you have more energy, you see positive effects from the things you do, you have much more time available to do more of the things you love and the world just seems to work so much better!

Good Habits are not something just a percentage of us can have – they are out there for the taking by each and everyone!

The sooner you start to pay attention to your habits, the quicker life will brighten up. You will begin to notice that the world doesn’t happen ‘to you’, but that you get to choose your circumstances, make your mark and reach for the top! And there’s no time better to do so than the present moment!

Have a think about your current daily habits. How do you feel about them? Do you feel they are contributing to your life, your goals, your dreams in a positive way? Or do you feel led by circumstances, driven by a ‘fixed’ behavioural pattern or unhappy with how things are unfolding?

Often we mistake our habits for our ‘selves’. We think that the things we repeatedly do are indicators of our personalities, genes and make-up. Inescapable, unavoidable. ‘It’s just the way I am’ you may hear yourself say. But this is not the case. Habits can be cast away, changed and created! There is nothing set in stone about the way you are from moment to moment. You can change the script at any time you like….

So be courageous, bring an active mind and create Good Habits today! Here are some examples to get you started! -

- Getting up early and having a slow morning pace, bringing a calm, clear focus for the day. 10-30 minutes exercises will give you an extra boost too!
- Spending 10 or 15 minutes each morning setting a positive intention for your day, identifying a source of motivation to keep you energised and on track and planning your daily doings.
- Having a healthy breakfast – a wonderful source of energy first thing that sets you off well!
- Planning your daily exercise/fitness early on, writing it in your diary and keeping to this important appointment with yourself! (You can look to your source of motivation to spark your thirst for this.)
- Making and setting goals and dreams that you can work towards and which provide a central meaning to your life.
- Arriving at appointments/meetings 10 minutes early – this will help you feel calm, settled and on top of things, whilst also not letting yourself or anyone else down!
- Choosing 3 positive things to do or say daily to loved ones, colleagues or strangers!
– Acting and living by your principles, values and what means dear to you.
- Making healthy food choices throughout your day – by staying fully aware and responsible for what you fuel yourself on.
- Being outdoors in the fresh air each day and lapping up the breeze!
- Having a phone chat/ meet up with someone you love spending time with – and who you leave feeling refreshed and happy.
- Choosing to use positive, meaningful words and language and dropping the rest that’s holding you back.
- Thinking positively about your career, the benefits you gain, aspects you love or perhaps considering an alternative occupation that’d suit you better.
- Keeping your room clear, tidy and organised – a clear surrounding space helps a clear and focused mind. Recycle or take to a charity shop anything that’s no longer of use to you – it may just well be of fantastic use to someone else!
- Creating a night-time routine – getting a good night’s seep, finishing off any lingering task from the day and thinking over everything that went positively whilst falling off to sleep.

Getting into the swing of nurturing good habits allows the best you to shine! You’ll feel forever satisfied and thankful for it.

Create some good habits today and reap the rewards they bring you….

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