Summer Is Here, Time To Rejuvenate

17/07/2010 — rosannagordon

A New Life

I’ve been away from blogging for a while, due to busy last stages of my PGCE teacher training – which I’m proud to say I’ve finished! I can breathe a huge sigh of relief. A totally amazing year, full of learnings and great achievement.

Two weeks have gone by since the course ended and life really has moved fast. I’ve moved fast. I’m now living in Cambridge, settling into a new flat and city, looking for work as supply teacher and putting foundations in place for my yoga business. As a newcomer, I can be as much a part of the side alleys or the centre streets as I like, because nobody knows me. Well, apart from my brother and sister, who I’m so happy to live close to.

Overwhelm to Strength

Day One here came, and I was off, running around the city, trying to get everything set up. I had so eagerly anticipated starting my new adventure that I couldn’t help myself! But by the end of the week, I was suffering from overwhelm. The reality hit me that it would take time adjusting to everything. Big changes have come all at once and a lot of shifting is going on. I’m aware though that this initial period of settling in and experiencing emotions such as fear and doubt is a part of the growing process.

In our bravery, we can make great changes in our lives. But then when it actually comes to living the change and we’re stepping out in the unknown, fear often shows up. And in our fear, we doubt our decisions that we were so excited about making! But it’s in staying put with the changes that we’ve brought about that we can tap into and feel our strength.

So this is what I’m doing, I’m hanging about. I’m staying put with my decisions to embark on this new, exciting life, allowing any emotions that arise and using the lessons that come to strengthen my character.

Coming Inside

By hitting exhaustion, I was forced to marvel at how the Universe works. No longer able to rush about ‘making things happen’, I got to sit back and allow things to unfold naturally. And whilst I believe it’s a good thing to actively go out and grab life, I can see how important it is also for us to loosen our grip over how things turn out. We can be both out there in the world having an influence and resting inside.

Rejuvenation

I don’t regret for a minute starting a new chapter. I think it was a fantastic idea. But I know too that in amongst making calls to the landlord, going along to interviews and seeking out yoga spaces, I also need to allow myself time for rejuvenation.

So, I’m asking you now to join me this Summer in rejuvenating yourself and finding a balance between your go, go, go self and your restful self. Will you join me?

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Sink or Swim

08/11/2009 — rosannagordon

sink or swim

So, I’m living back in halls, as a student again. I’ve dived head first into a world entirely new and unfamiliar and you know I couldn’t be happier.

From the day I moved in some eight weeks ago, my life has been drumming to a new beat – a faster, more exciting, less predictable one. With little time to adapt, I seemed to just appear in a distinctly different arena: new city, surroundings, bedroom, friends, course, lifestyle, routines… I said goodbye to the country bumpkin me that was becoming and hello to the new life, noticing that not a single bit of continuity was supporting me. It was clear that it was down to me – was I going to sink or swim?

For the first few days, I bobbed along on the surface, minding my way and seeing what cropped up. I was settling into my new living arrangement, spending long days at university, forming quick and sturdy friendships, laughing a lot, whilst all the time trying to make sense of the latest me.

I observed various aspects of myself emerge, from what I now know as a deep hibernation; all sorts of language, behaviour and means of self-expression. Suddenly, I was no longer hiding myself behind an overly positive curtain, choosing which emotions were good and holding in the so-called bad. Now I was dipping in to a whole palette of emotions, including anger, frustration, indifference and sadness.

On week two, I sunk. Crying wholeheartedly down the phone to my family, I realised how lost I felt. The rollercoaster I was holding so tightly onto was all too much for me. I wanted off the ride, immediately. I longed for the continuity back in my life, the peace and quiet. I put my sense of bewilderment down to bad decision making: did I really want to train as a primary school teacher? Had I stepped onto a path that I didn’t want to go down?

I soon realised that what I thought was me acting out of my nature, was actually the very opposite. I was being more true to myself than I had for a while – I was letting myself shine through, uncensored. “It’s ok to be me, to be whole and feel the way I do”, I cried.

What a relief I felt at that moment, when I let myself off the hook for being myself, in understanding that things don’t need to be so rosy. I took down the curtain that day and have been swimming head above the water since.

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Day One

13/04/2009 — rosannagordon

handstand31

I love beginnings. I love mornings, Mondays, the first day of each month, welcoming a new season, a new term and of course the New Year! I love January more than anything! There is such a crispness to it! I see clear space, a white open path and great possibility. I feel so incredibly free and inspired at the start of a New Year and so excited to create and set out on my chosen journey!

It is a perfect time to reevaluate, rechoose and recreate yourself at the start of something. You can step back form your life as it is and decide what you want to keep and what is best to discard. A wonderful opportunity for new healthy ideas to emerge!

Beginnings of time are so exciting for me that it seemed so clear to make them even more of a regularity. Why put such happiness, proactivity and creativity on hold til Monday or the New Year when I could wake up to these feelings everyday?

Such feelings sparked the creation of Day One’s, changing my life brilliantly. A new beginning each new day, everyday! I am currently living a Day One. Yesterday was Day One and tomorrow will be too.

Day One is a chance to start over, a fresh space, a clear white page, the beginning of new time. I can do whatever I choose to do with this new day, paint any picture that I like. I am the creator, the painter!

Day One is a daily January Monday morning! In perceiving every day this way I am creating new vision. I see clearly the immediacy of my actions, my choices and my true purpose. I do not have to wait until the New Year to be truly alive to the beauty and opportunity all around me. I am extending my happiness to fill every moment! ‘Day One has arrived’ I say! ‘Yipee!.’ Back to the drawing board I run with youth and collect my colourful pens to begin my day!

By thinking this way, treating each day as a first, I keep myself in the present. Only now is important and the choices that I make for present time. Yesterday has no significance, only acting as a lesson, a backdrop. Day One has started and I can decide to be whoever I choose. Do, act, say whatever I choose for time has allowed me this space here. Everything else melts away.

Who you are is decided by what you do in the present. If you choose to be healthy right this moment then that is who you are.

We can all make Day One’s and live every new day with radiant new eyes, from a different angle. We can decide how best to make the most of fresh time.

No matter how you have lived, how you have chosen before, the healthy you is asking for attention and care right now. Take yourself gently by the hand, set a clear intention and step into true health. Let us all together Wake Up to the sunshine of Day One.

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