Summer Is Here, Time To Rejuvenate

17/07/2010 — rosannagordon

A New Life

I’ve been away from blogging for a while, due to busy last stages of my PGCE teacher training – which I’m proud to say I’ve finished! I can breathe a huge sigh of relief. A totally amazing year, full of learnings and great achievement.

Two weeks have gone by since the course ended and life really has moved fast. I’ve moved fast. I’m now living in Cambridge, settling into a new flat and city, looking for work as supply teacher and putting foundations in place for my yoga business. As a newcomer, I can be as much a part of the side alleys or the centre streets as I like, because nobody knows me. Well, apart from my brother and sister, who I’m so happy to live close to.

Overwhelm to Strength

Day One here came, and I was off, running around the city, trying to get everything set up. I had so eagerly anticipated starting my new adventure that I couldn’t help myself! But by the end of the week, I was suffering from overwhelm. The reality hit me that it would take time adjusting to everything. Big changes have come all at once and a lot of shifting is going on. I’m aware though that this initial period of settling in and experiencing emotions such as fear and doubt is a part of the growing process.

In our bravery, we can make great changes in our lives. But then when it actually comes to living the change and we’re stepping out in the unknown, fear often shows up. And in our fear, we doubt our decisions that we were so excited about making! But it’s in staying put with the changes that we’ve brought about that we can tap into and feel our strength.

So this is what I’m doing, I’m hanging about. I’m staying put with my decisions to embark on this new, exciting life, allowing any emotions that arise and using the lessons that come to strengthen my character.

Coming Inside

By hitting exhaustion, I was forced to marvel at how the Universe works. No longer able to rush about ‘making things happen’, I got to sit back and allow things to unfold naturally. And whilst I believe it’s a good thing to actively go out and grab life, I can see how important it is also for us to loosen our grip over how things turn out. We can be both out there in the world having an influence and resting inside.

Rejuvenation

I don’t regret for a minute starting a new chapter. I think it was a fantastic idea. But I know too that in amongst making calls to the landlord, going along to interviews and seeking out yoga spaces, I also need to allow myself time for rejuvenation.

So, I’m asking you now to join me this Summer in rejuvenating yourself and finding a balance between your go, go, go self and your restful self. Will you join me?

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 1 Comment »

Precious Time

23/01/2010 — rosannagordon

All the while we’re out there, doing whatever it is that we’re doing, the clock is ticking and moments are passing. Can we honestly say that we’re making perfect, or at least good use of time? That we’re happy with what we spend it on?

Something so precious as time, is sadly often taken for granted, wished away or just not cared for. And this is a great shame. We can never tread the same step twice, touch the same waters or get opportunities back, and so it’s down to us to act in moments when they arrive. Otherwise, we may look back and wish we’d stepped out more and not let things slip between our fingers.

Perhaps there’s a new adventure we want to embark on, a friendship to invest in, a career line to take, a love affair to run with, a dream to follow, a call to make. Wherever we are on our journeys, we need to open our eyes to what’s before us, and our ears to hear it calling our name.

It may mean that we need to create some new behaviour, to get things started. These new opportunities calling us over could seem scary and risky, out there in unknown parameters. Doubts may arise and fear set in. We’ll want to cling to our comfort blanket, the place we’ve been rested so long. So, we’ll need courage and strength to lay the first foundations, and thirst and enthusiasm to see us through into the new life.

When we start to make truly good use of time, we will feel a change of flow. And this is natural; time will take on a new meaning. Things may suddenly speed up or an hour could last a lifetime. This is a part of the process, of breaking free from the humdrum of wasted time, wasted moments. It is important to reach out and not just stay where we are, living in wonder of what life could be.

Recently, I’ve decided to make some changes. In seeing my time as precious and dear to me, I’ve chosen to spend my moments with people I feel real joy and happiness being with, to do the things my heart is in and to say yes to new experiences and adventures I had only dreamt of.

What we choose in our present is what defines our future. Each choice, each action counts in its making. We won’t simply arrive somewhere one day we’ve been longing for – not unless we set stones today. This is why we need to act. We need to ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’, bite the bullet, strike whilst it’s hot and shake things up a notch.

Remember, things can get better. Time can be an amazing healer, a tool, a valuable source, a treasure. You can have the life you truly want. Make time work in your favour. Make it count, last and accommodate all of your inner desires. Make the best use of this gem that you ever have before. Let it astound you.

Take a look at your life as it is. Is time working for you or against you? Are you flying high or staying low? What could you bring in/act on today that you haven’t already?

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , . 8 Comments »

Sink or Swim

08/11/2009 — rosannagordon

sink or swim

So, I’m living back in halls, as a student again. I’ve dived head first into a world entirely new and unfamiliar and you know I couldn’t be happier.

From the day I moved in some eight weeks ago, my life has been drumming to a new beat – a faster, more exciting, less predictable one. With little time to adapt, I seemed to just appear in a distinctly different arena: new city, surroundings, bedroom, friends, course, lifestyle, routines… I said goodbye to the country bumpkin me that was becoming and hello to the new life, noticing that not a single bit of continuity was supporting me. It was clear that it was down to me – was I going to sink or swim?

For the first few days, I bobbed along on the surface, minding my way and seeing what cropped up. I was settling into my new living arrangement, spending long days at university, forming quick and sturdy friendships, laughing a lot, whilst all the time trying to make sense of the latest me.

I observed various aspects of myself emerge, from what I now know as a deep hibernation; all sorts of language, behaviour and means of self-expression. Suddenly, I was no longer hiding myself behind an overly positive curtain, choosing which emotions were good and holding in the so-called bad. Now I was dipping in to a whole palette of emotions, including anger, frustration, indifference and sadness.

On week two, I sunk. Crying wholeheartedly down the phone to my family, I realised how lost I felt. The rollercoaster I was holding so tightly onto was all too much for me. I wanted off the ride, immediately. I longed for the continuity back in my life, the peace and quiet. I put my sense of bewilderment down to bad decision making: did I really want to train as a primary school teacher? Had I stepped onto a path that I didn’t want to go down?

I soon realised that what I thought was me acting out of my nature, was actually the very opposite. I was being more true to myself than I had for a while – I was letting myself shine through, uncensored. “It’s ok to be me, to be whole and feel the way I do”, I cried.

What a relief I felt at that moment, when I let myself off the hook for being myself, in understanding that things don’t need to be so rosy. I took down the curtain that day and have been swimming head above the water since.

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . 4 Comments »
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.