Summer Is Here, Time To Rejuvenate

A New Life

I’ve been away from blogging for a while, due to busy last stages of my PGCE teacher training – which I’m proud to say I’ve finished! I can breathe a huge sigh of relief. A totally amazing year, full of learnings and great achievement.

Two weeks have gone by since the course ended and life really has moved fast. I’ve moved fast. I’m now living in Cambridge, settling into a new flat and city, looking for work as supply teacher and putting foundations in place for my yoga business. As a newcomer, I can be as much a part of the side alleys or the centre streets as I like, because nobody knows me. Well, apart from my brother and sister, who I’m so happy to live close to.

Overwhelm to Strength

Day One here came, and I was off, running around the city, trying to get everything set up. I had so eagerly anticipated starting my new adventure that I couldn’t help myself! But by the end of the week, I was suffering from overwhelm. The reality hit me that it would take time adjusting to everything. Big changes have come all at once and a lot of shifting is going on. I’m aware though that this initial period of settling in and experiencing emotions such as fear and doubt is a part of the growing process.

In our bravery, we can make great changes in our lives. But then when it actually comes to living the change and we’re stepping out in the unknown, fear often shows up. And in our fear, we doubt our decisions that we were so excited about making! But it’s in staying put with the changes that we’ve brought about that we can tap into and feel our strength.

So this is what I’m doing, I’m hanging about. I’m staying put with my decisions to embark on this new, exciting life, allowing any emotions that arise and using the lessons that come to strengthen my character.

Coming Inside

By hitting exhaustion, I was forced to marvel at how the Universe works. No longer able to rush about ‘making things happen’, I got to sit back and allow things to unfold naturally. And whilst I believe it’s a good thing to actively go out and grab life, I can see how important it is also for us to loosen our grip over how things turn out. We can be both out there in the world having an influence and resting inside.

Rejuvenation

I don’t regret for a minute starting a new chapter. I think it was a fantastic idea. But I know too that in amongst making calls to the landlord, going along to interviews and seeking out yoga spaces, I also need to allow myself time for rejuvenation.

So, I’m asking you now to join me this Summer in rejuvenating yourself and finding a balance between your go, go, go self and your restful self. Will you join me?

Training For The Marathon: The Journey So Far

It has been a very eventful last few months in marathon training – the pace has picked up fast and it’s now hard to believe that I only took up jogging again last October. The runner in me is thrilled to be given this opportunity to show what she’s made of. Well, actually, today the runner in me is feeling a bit sorry for herself, as bending down and even walking are proving to be quite difficult since running the Grove Half-Marathon on Sunday! But, aside from the current soreness – which will soon heal and is all just part and parcel of training for a marathon – things are going good. My journey so far…

I started off at Uni running once or twice a week with my running buddy Ros. We’ve been great motivation for each other from the go and have managed to keep our running schedule fresh by adding lots of variety. We’ve ran around the football field, through the Woodlands, to the other Uni campus, up to ASDA, as well as staying close to home and lapping the Uni halls – I enjoyed this, challenging myself to go an extra lap or two! On University days, we’d run mornings and during school placement, the evenings, as we’d be getting up even earlier and didn’t fancy running at 5am! Typically, we’d aim for three runs a week, and although we weren’t too rigid with ourselves on the exact time or day, we seemed to stick to this well. On seeing our fitness and strength increase, we progressively upped the pace, and in our prime we were running one 30 minute and two 40 minute runs a week.

Last month I was on placement in Paris, and keen to continue with my training, I packed my running gear and a copy of Runner’s World – which I have totally gotten into! Lucky for me, a few others on the course had the same idea too and soon enough I had myself a running crew, or as we liked to call ourselves ‘ladies who run’. We ran together all around La Defense, looking up at the skyscraper buildings and with the Arc de Triomphe and the Eiffel Tower in view – amazing! Our calf muscles certainly felt the impact of all the steps we were running up and down, but nevertheless our motivation remained strong to the end. We kept the runs consistent, going for 30 minutes every other evening – and this felt just right.

On returning to England, and with just a week to go before my half-marathon, I knew it was time to rest. Perfect time too, being away from Uni and on Easter holidays in Dorset. I wanted to get to Sunday feeling well-rested and in top spirits. Five days before the marathon, I went for one last run. Knowing that I hadn’t yet had a ‘big run’, or anything more than 50 minutes, I planned on making this one an hour. Perhaps I could have made it to the 60 minutes, or longer, but on that day I didn’t. I ran for 45 minutes, and felt exhausted after that. So, I never made my big run beforehand, but there was no time to worry – marathon day was fast approaching…

I didn’t feel particularly fit at the start of the race, or particularly anything, apart from cold! My arms were bare and I just couldn’t wait to get going to warm up! I’d had my usual morning porridge and a banana closer to the run, which felt good. I didn’t see the worth of ‘loading the carbs’ too much just before running, but had had plenty more carbohydrates than usual leading up to the day and the night before, supplying me with lots of energy. And before I had a chance to rethink my new running trousers decision, fiddle around with the safety pins fastening my running number to my top or wish I’d made more of a logical plan to get me through the run, I was off… and very quickly being overtaken by a lot of runners, including my brother Joe and Ros’s boyfriend Liam. That was the last I saw of those two!

Me and Ros stayed together at the start and seemed to be laughing a lot – I put this down to nerves. Here we were, actually running a half-marathon, surrounded by the White Horse Harriers running club, wow! The laughing didn’t last long, as the mileage and breathwork increased. For every mile, I decided to run for someone I knew; I ran for my family members, for my friends, and then finally for the last mile I ran for everyone and the world! Perhaps a choice fuelled by endorphins, but it just felt right! and worked as a great focus and source of inspiration – anything to take my mind off my increasingly heavy legs and the distance to the finish. Where was it, the end?

Well I can gladly say, I did find the end. And I didn’t make a bad time either: 2:10. I had kept to my aim too – the one I made around mile four, working out that I was making each mile just within ten minutes. I saw my Mum’s smiling face, cheering me on as I ran the last 400m, and as I like to do in my training, I mustered together all my remaining energy and flew into a sprint to the finish line and I really was flying high! Although immediately collapsing to the ground afterwards, clutching my White Horse Harriers mug I had just been handed, I stayed high for quite a while – the endorphins really had got me.

I can say I’ve never experienced anything like it. What a rush and a real sense of achievement the half-marathon has given me. I’ve learnt such a lot already through my training, and I’m feeling strong and determined as ever for the full marathon this October in Amsterdam. Bring on the rest of the training and the very next run! Now, where’s my copy of Runner’s World?…

Let The Boat Rock

I am now entering into a new stage of my life; a fierier, more honest and more dynamic one – and this I find very exciting. I call this stage ‘Let The Boat Rock’. It’s time to speak clearly about what my message is; about what Wake Up To Health really means.

I no longer need to hold on so tightly to the sides of the boat, hoping that it will stay still, hoping that it won’t collide with others. It’s OK for bigger waves to come. And I believe that this is the direction I should be going in now, in allowing the existence of greater waves.

Until recently, I had been happy sailing forwards smoothly and on gentle waves. I thought it was tranquillity that I was after. Life is but a dream eh? But now I realise that I was actually afraid of disturbing the peace, of showing other sides of myself and exploring other voices; my own as well as others, and so I rejected and censored anything that did not fit in with the tranquil picture that I had created. But I don’t feel the need to play the peacekeeper anymore.

A learning for me is this: it isn’t about keeping the peace and making sure everything is nicey-nicey. We are not here to please everyone, and in fact we can’t! It is energy lost in trying to do so. Instead of going out of our way and losing ourselves, we need to speak our truth, staying on our personal path. And what I’ve actually noticed is that the more I let myself speak, the better the response I am getting from others, as well as from myself.

Once we give up the need to edit ourselves and censor other voices, we find our strength and allow ourselves the gift of self-acceptance. When we can stand strong on a rocking boat and be hit by the biggest wave and not fall down – this is when we know we are speaking our truth.

Let us feel our strength, our force and our energy.

In feeling mine, I lay out my message for you, the uncensored and unedited version:

Let us think carefully about what we are doing here
And what our purpose is.
Are we living our true potential?
Are we the happiest and healthiest we can be?

If not, why not?
What is getting in the way?
We need to take full responsibility for our lives,
For our health and for our well-being
In knowing that we can change at any moment.
We can find strength and take good care of ourselves.
We can feel incredible.

We have choice.
Health is a choice.

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